Scion ’15 NEWSLETTER: Firing Potato Cannons

All the teams made their way out in the SCME ground where I was finally going to have the chance to fulfil my life-long fantasy of watching potatoes fly. Luckily, before the potatoes baked on their own in the sun, the event commenced with instructions from the event head to the teams regarding the operation of the cannons. Since they probably felt like next level pieces of nothing, having successfully built a cannon yesterday, one team chose to ignore these wise words with smugness dripping from their faces. So, the event head knowingly warned them:

Yaaar dekh lo aaloo kesay daaltay hain, dekh lo baad may ro gay.

Once all teams were instructed, they shoved down one potato each into their cannons. These potatoes were being eagerly awaited by the bullseye drawn on the grass some fifty yards away. On the exclamation of “FIRE!” the maiden voyage of the first team’s potato was seen. I swear upon potatoes deep fried, golden and crisp, it was a breathtakingly beautiful sight. If one could watch the flight in slow motion, I’m sure you would see the potato shake its head slowly to let the wind flow through its hair with a deeply satisfying smile. That potato probably felt like it had fulfilled its purpose in this world, like it could now willingly let itself by cut and carved into anything without any regrets. Why wouldn’t it? Being launched by a potato cannon is on the Forbes Bucket List of Potatoes, second only to sacrificing themselves as deep fried starchy hot treats.

Aaloo wapis do hamara!

My mind quit the window playing that slow motion clip of the flying potato as one participant demanded the aaloo back to launch it for another ride through the air.

Agar aap log jeet gaye to is kay chips zaroor khana,

said one person handing him the peeled aaloo.

Each team took the potatoes on a tour of the potatoey Disney world as they fired their potato cannons one by one. The inexplicably satisfying thud sound as the cannons fired excited me every single time. It must be my lucky day, I assumed, because two teams had tied and more potatoes needed to be fired in order to determine who won. However, the first launch of the team Mad Geniuses was enough to declare the other team the winner since it went no further than six steps. Their gloating faces underwent a change of colour, hoping the other team would disgrace their potato similarly. Unfortunately, they had forgotten that the other team was Dedicated to bhabi. *DA DA DA DUMMM*

It is not known yet whether it was their advanced knowledge of science or their expertise in the ways of firing a potato cannon or the force of bhabi. Whatever it was, it blew the winds in their favour. I apologise for underestimating the power of being dedicated to bhabi (must surrender on the altar of bhabi unless I want some glitches in my life). Indeed, it was the force of bhabi that caused their potatoes to fly majestically onto the bullseye. All hail bhabi!

By Zohaa Wajid

NSS-Executive Publications


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